I’ve met a lot of people due to the nature of my work. I believe most people are good, but sadly there are some people who simply aren’t good people. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about the bad people, to the point that it consumed my thoughts in an unhealthy way. I’ve witnessed some people who are sneaky in their actions and don’t have the best intentions. I’ve seen others who deliberately do things to hurt people or organizations to put themselves first. I’ve witnessed people who lie, lie, lie and then lie some more. And I’ve seen some who blame the world for their problems and will never accept fault or responsibility of their own. I used to spend a considerable amount of time hoping that I wasn’t the only one who could see what was really going on with these people. There were many times when I wanted to share with the entire world what I witnessed in other people, but I didn’t because I would have felt good about it. It really bothered me.
Then one day I realized that I was wasting my thoughts. I concluded that it isn’t my responsibility to help others see the reality of the unfortunate way some people act. Maybe I could play a role in helping shine a light on the good in people, but I realized that it was a waste of my time and thoughts to be bothered by people who were ugly on the inside. I decided it was a much better use of my time and thoughts to keep my head on my own business and not wrapped up in the negativity from others. It was one of the most impactful and valuable realizations I’ve ever had.
That spurred me to think about other ways we waste our thoughts. Just as we get to choose how we spend our time, energy, and money, we also get to choose how we spend our thoughts.
Comparing ourselves to others is another waste of our thoughts. I read recently a quote by Teddy Roosevelt that said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we start comparing ourselves to others, we can quickly become down about ourselves, or cause others to feel down. We can easily feel as if we aren’t good enough. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen into that trap.
Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet is another waste of valuable thought space. Spending that time preparing for what is going to happen would be a better use of thoughts. I had to schedule a meeting recently that had the potential of becoming unpleasant. It was a difficult meeting to ask for and I wasn’t sure how the meeting was going to go. Thankfully I had already taught myself not to worry about things when I’m not sure how they will go so I didn’t spend too much time worrying about the meeting and instead spent time preparing for the meeting. It turned out to be a very productive and positive meeting. Had I spent a lot of time worrying about the meeting and the possibility of it turning into something negative, it would have been wasted energy and time, as well as stressful.
Wondering what people are saying about you is another way we waste our thoughts. I used to be so caught up in thinking that people were talking about me (negatively) when I wasn’t around to hear it. It was really a ridiculous way to use my thoughts. Maybe people do talk about me, but there isn’t much I can do about it. As long as I am living my life how I want to, and in a manner I feel good about, then I shouldn’t worry that others are talking about me. Spending valuable thought time thinking (worrying) about it is counterproductive.
I heard another quote once that said, “Don’t let anyone rent space in your head unless they are a good tenant.” I think, “Don’t let any thoughts rent space in your head unless they are good tenants,” works too. It just makes sense. If we give our thought space to unproductive, worrisome, hurtful, ineffective thoughts, then we are really doing ourselves a disservice. Join me in working on replacing these wasted thoughts with productive thoughts.