I’m heading into a very busy week. My Monday has meetings at 8:30, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 1:30, 5:00, and 6:00. The next four days are much of the same. On Sunday evening I could already feel myself feeling anxious about the week. You see, these are the types of weeks where, historically, my eating disorder would pop up in a full court press. Not having control over my own schedule and not having time between meetings to get actual work done would send me into a downward spiral…and right into a pattern of stress, irritability and vomiting.
Vomiting would somehow act as a reset button, if only temporarily, to help me get past the anxiety and irritability and function through the hectic schedule.
So heading into a crazy week always leaves me a little on edge. I imagine it to feel the same way an alcoholic, new to recovery, feels when attending an event with lots of booze.
It took a long time (and in so many ways is still a work in progress) to figure out how to face this type of week head-on and come out unscathed on the other side.
I learned that I don’t have to feel guilty if I need to say no to something because my mental health needs the break. Mental and physical health must trump other things. I learned how to better manage my time by time blocking and prioritizing differently. I learned that it is ok to shut my office door sometimes to get work done. I learned when is a good time to take a break for a walk or yoga or meditation. No matter how much untouched work I am walking away from for that 45 minutes, it is always a better use of my time when I feel overwhelmed. Finally, I learned to reach out to others and vent or ask for help, or both.
I don’t do these things perfectly. It’s a great big work in progress. You don’t snap your fingers and get through struggles and become who you are meant to be instantly. It is constant work. But that’s how life is, and it’s ok that you aren’t there yet! As long as you are moving that direction.