It started with a simple question, “Do you think we could get a bottle of wine for the table?” and ended with one woman storming away while the other women looked after her, confused by what just offended the woman in the black blazer.

The rest of the people sitting at the table sat in awkward silence. They suddenly seemed keenly interested in their napkins, fingernails, and silverware.

Are we becoming too politically correct? Are we becoming too sensitive?

I must admit that I am a bit ashamed of myself for not telling you the whole wine and black blazer story. The true story is about a simple misunderstanding that should be easy to re-tell. I know it is a true story because I was one of the people who became intensely interested in my rather dull napkin. Because the story has to do with race, re-telling it and using it as an example stirs fear of being seen as racist or judgmental. Even though I should not feel nervous about telling the story publicly in a blog post or otherwise, I chose not to tell it because of what our society has become when it comes to political correctness and sensitivity.

It seems to be getting increasingly difficult to speak without offending. Our skin has gotten so thin. In fact, just talking about this sends my mind on a crazy trail of thoughts. Having thin skin is a common way to describe people who seem overly-sensitive. But using that phrase might offend anyone who has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (causes fragile skin) even though it isn’t meant to. There will be some people who will be upset that I said, “crazy trail of thoughts.” Probably anyone who likes trails because I just associated trails with crazy. I’ve surely also offended anyone who thinks because they could assume I called them crazy. And certainly anyone who thinks while on a trail will undoubtedly think I am calling them crazy. The word, “trails,” looks a lot like, “trains,” so now anyone who has been on a train, is on a train right now, or knows what a train is will also be offended. Oh my goodness. I have thought while on a trail before, I have skin, and I’ve been on a train. Does that mean I am triple crazy? Ahhh! I think I just offended myself.

Although an extreme and seemingly silly example, there is reality to it. The cycle seems never to end. We are constantly learning of new ways we are offending people because we are not sensitive to their needs before we even know what their needs are. We are no longer able to use certain words and phrases because they might offend someone. Like brainstorm, man up, lame, or crazy. Even saying, “politically correct,” is now being listed in some circles as hurtful to say.

I believe all of this is indicative of a bigger problem in our society. I think about what it would be like to be so sensitive, entitled, unsure of myself, or self-absorbed that I am easily offended by words that aren’t even meant to offend. Should I be offended every time someone calls something short? Want me to read that short story? No way. But I will read a time-limited one instead. Having Polish food at your wedding? I won’t attend. I’m of Polish descent and when someone says they don’t like sauerkraut (as they undoubtedly will), they are really saying they don’t like Polish people and therefore they are saying they don’t like me. Don’t you dare clap for me after I finish a speech or presentation. Just use silent spirit fingers instead. Clapping might cause anxiety in some (this is not a made-up example, clapping was banned at a college in the United Kingdom for this reason).

I don’t know what the answer to this is but it seems as if there is a fine line that society has crossed between being insensitive and being overly sensitive. I don’t know what the best response would have been in the wine and black blazer situation. I’m not even sure if there was a, “right” response. Everyone is different so every situation will be different. Maybe that’s where the answer lies – both getting to know and respect other’s differences and being more tolerant and understanding of what happens around us.