If you break a bone, people can see you have an injury. They may ask when you will be better, and perhaps even get into specifics of what it will take to heal. They aren’t usually too shy about asking what happened. It is not uncommon for them to offer up their own broken bone story. If you miss work because of the incident, people understand. The person with the broken bone usually doesn’t seem to mind talking about it, telling others the story about what happened. When I broke my collar bone, I even received a t-shirt from someone that said, “broken clavicle story, $10.” I wasn’t offended, it made me laugh.
When someone has a mental health issue, it is not as visible as a broken bone. Those with mental health issues rarely feel comfortable speaking candidly and openly about the issue. In many settings it is still awkward or taboo for a person to be vulnerable and speak about their mental health struggles. It is hard for someone to understand another’s mental health issues unless they have first-hand experience. Missing a workday because of a mental health issue is not widely accepted or even tolerated. Someone with a mental health issue might not recognize what the problem is right away, not understanding why they cannot get up in the mornings, why they lack energy or interest, or the reason their appetite has changed dramatically, to name just a few symptoms.
This needs to change.
Speaking of change, I’m making what will appear to be a dramatic change in content, but I promise it will come together.
Being passionate about leadership development, I often spend time thinking about the people who are unwilling to dig into their leadership, discover areas they could improve, and then take actions to improve. Some people can recognize their leadership strengths and weaknesses while others either don’t care, are blind to their own behavior, or have an ego so large it won’t allow in any honest insight.
It recently dawned on me that these two scenarios, mental health vs. other health issues and leadership growth vs. other business services, have a lot in common.
If a business has an issue with their accounting, they are likely to admit they need help (perhaps tax implications have something to do with that willingness) and seek out the help they need. If they need help with designing a marketing piece, they are willing to admit they don’t have that skill and could use help. It’s like the broken bone. There is little to no stigma associated with admitting they need help in those areas of running a business or organization.
But when a business is having trouble with leadership, it is rare for them to admit it and even less common to seek help for it. Being a poor leader is not a mental health issue (although it could be related in some cases), but it is like a mental health issue in that it is not widely accepted for someone in a leadership role to say they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to leading people and to then seek and accept help. That unwillingness leads to dysfunction and unhappy teams.
Also, like mental health issues, it is not uncommon for the person in a leadership role to not even recognize there is a problem, or where it stems from. They fail to see the connection between their leadership and low employee retention, unhappy team members, stunted organizational growth, or other symptoms of poor leadership.
Like talking about a mental health struggle, it can seem vulnerable or weak for someone to admit they need help with developing as a leader.
In both cases, society could benefit from change.
Admitting we need help with something should never be a fear, no matter the topic.
How can this change? Change will happen when we, as individuals, choose to change ourselves. Swallow our pride. Be honest about our own ways. Stop judging others who do speak up and seek help. Improve our emotional intelligence. Recognize our own influences on others around us.
A broken bone, a struggling brain, a messed-up balance sheet, or poor leadership all require help to improve. One shouldn’t be a more vulnerable thing to talk about or ask for help with. Admission of the need for help in any of those areas should be supported. Admired. Appreciated. Applauded.