I am so stinkin’ proud of the team members of one of my clients. I’ll tell you why but let me first explain a few things.
To be humble is to possess the virtue of humility. Since that isn’t extremely helpful in defining humble, let’s look at humility. To have humility is to be simple and modest in our behavior, or to not be too arrogant, proud, or self-centered.
It takes a humble person to ask for constructive feedback. It takes a humble person who is also brave and who is willing to be vulnerable to not get defensive in receipt of that feedback and then use it to make personal changes for the better.
A person who is arrogant, or too proud (and therefore likely stubborn), or overly self-centered will struggle to even listen to suggestions as to how they might improve, and they will certainly not implement changes accordingly.
I spent some time with the entire team of one of my clients recently. We hosted a workshop for all 45 employees. At the workshop we shared some things with the attendees that were not easy to hear. We challenged their thought processes. We challenged their behaviors. We challenged the way they view their relationship with their employer.
In a room of 45 people, no one walked out. No one argued. Not one person blamed anyone else. Some of them may have felt uncomfortable as we talked through some of the issues going on in the workplace. Some may have felt more vulnerable than they had ever felt before. But they stayed. They learned. And they took to heart the things we talked about, internalizing the conversations. We know this because their behaviors started changing immediately and continue to change in positive ways.
I am so proud of that group of adults.
Why did I expect that there might be anger, walk-outs, blame, or arguing? Because, like so many other virtues (common sense, patience, and grace to name a few), humility seems to be a rare virtue anymore. The ability or perhaps desire to truly listen to feedback and use it to improve seems sparse.
To have had this experience with this group gives me greater hope for the future. Maybe we will turn the corner and get to a place where the majority of us again care about the impacts our personal actions have on others around us and where most of us realize the power and responsibility we have over our own experiences. Where we look internally for happiness instead of expecting others to create it for us.
I remember being in a place where I was not so humble. Things in my career were going well and I knew it. I would attend conferences or meetings and have a terrible attitude about being there because what could I possibly learn? Clearly, I was doing things better than everyone else. One just had to look at the data and numbers that supported the success story. But as I matured more (don’t laugh) I realized I still had a whole lot to learn. I don’t have some great story about the moment I realized this. It came more as I got a handle on my mental health issues of anxiety and depression. I’m so glad I got there, though. Forever learning and having curiosity is an incredible thing. The challenge of finding ways to improve is a fun experience.
Thank you to that group who showed me there are people who want to do better. People who prove the saying to be true, “know better, do better.” People who will humbly accept criticism and feedback and use it to make their world a better place through improving their own behaviors.
I said to the owner of that business, “Imagine if what happened in that room that evening could happen for the entire community and beyond? The changes to our society would be incredible.” He agreed.
It is impressive when someone humbly accepts recognition. When someone faces criticism with humility and genuine interest. When someone shares their talent with the world without arrogance.
Like the incredible group from the workshop, surprise those around you with your willingness to internalize input, even if difficult to hear, and change your behaviors or attitude.